Stinky Flowers

Well, we made it. My blog is 1-year-old today. And just like my human children, I can’t believe how fast it’s grown.  Heck, I can’t believe how fast I’VE grown over the past year.  I still have so much to learn but I’m gonna give myself a little pat on the back today.

The only thing I knew for sure was I wanted to blog about all the crazy mishaps and shenanigans my family gets into on a daily basis. I wanted to document each story for posterity so I could:

A) Constantly remind my family what they put me through.

B) Have something embarrassing to hold over my boys’ heads when I want something from them in the future.

C) Evidence. In case child protective services ever gets called.

As I look back over the year’s posts, I’m astonished at the full circles my life has taken. One of the first posts I did was about my fear of everything reptilian and my last posts were about all the reptiles that have taken up residency in my house (thank you very much, Mark).

The other “full circle” was that I started this blog not knowing how to tie my proverbial cyber shoes and a year later, being asked by the amazing people at Disney to perform and speak at a Social Media Moms’ Conference. Crazy.

Turns out, I love to blog. I was meant to blog. I’ve tried all other mediums…I own thousands of dollars in scrapbooking accoutrement and have only done 2 pages.  I bought 7 (that’s right, 7) baby books for my 2 boys and they each have 2 pages done. (hmmm, I see a trend). I’ve taken thousands of hours of video of the boys and it sits in a box with all the editing software that’s unopened.

But blogging is like telling all your family’s stories to a friend. A friend that laughs and commiserates with you  in the form of sweet, supportive comments. Thank you all for your comments. They’re like the surprise in a box of Cracker Jacks. (Sometimes cheap and useless but always fun to get!)

So, cheers! everyone. Here’s to the next year of painfully embarrassing and frustrating posts…

...and just enough sweet moments to keep me from selling them on Craig's list.

Apparently, I’m a social media mom. Who knew? Disney, for starters.

When they asked me to perform at the conference, I’ll admit I had never heard that term before.

“We think since you’re a SMM, you’d be perfect!”

“I beg your pardon? What did you just call me?”

After meeting all the other “SMMs” at the conference,  I couldn’t be happier to be included in such a wonderful group. Walking into the conference room filled with childless-for-the-day Moms was like going to a pajama party without the pajamas. Wait…that didn’t come out right. It was a room filled with women sharing their favorite gadgets. This is just getting worse. I just mean that the excitement was palpable.

Guy Kawasaki spoke at a breakfast on Thurs. I brought Amber with me because we’re business partners, friends and no one needed an hour away more than her. (OK, the truth? because we’ve NEVER seen each other without kids. How weird is that?) We giggled like school-girls, swiped extra Disney pins left on the tables and actually learned something.

WE were supposed to be listening...but I snuck a photo of Amber. She's funny when she's mad but can't yell.

Guy talked about Twitter. I’ve heard about it from Oprah and Ashton Kutcher but I thought it was just a bunch of people talking smack. Turns out, it’s a lot of people talking smack AND you can actually use it to promote your business.

Friday was the big day. Lots of notable speakers; food; more notable speakers; giveaways; me; confetti cannon; private after-hours party at Hollywood Studios then return home to become a blissful “pile of Mom” on the couch.

Here are the photos:

Seriously, Kristen...maybe if you'd work a little harder you might get a raise...slacker.

Leanne knows how to throw a serious party. Can you say, "swag"?

My turn to perform! Pretty weird to do a show for 200 women with their heads down, typing away on their "media machines" of choice.

We did have one mishap....Nate was hanging with Pluto and Goofy when...

Pluto watches in horror as Goofy goes "mad" and tries to devour Nate head first.

Nate got to meet Miss Lori. He was almost as excited as I was to meet her.

Buzz and Woody. Nate was still a little paranoid from the Goofy "incident".

We rode "Toy Story Mania" so many times our 5 year old said, "Uh...Mommy, Daddy...we have to go home so I can go to bed now." (Mark will tell you HE has the high score, but I think he cheated somehow.)

This was truly an amazing event. Thanks to everyone who made it possible for me to be there. I’ve truly grown as a Media Mom.

To all the other Media Moms…please keep in touch.

I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours…blogs…I was talking about blogs.

I was invited to perform for all the other Social Media Moms at Disney!

I had a great “incognito” breakfast this morning at Disney. I got to watch Guy Kawasaki use his powers for mostly good! Now I’m changing Zeke’s diaper (not potty trained yet…don’t judge me) then heading back to Disney for my rehearsal.

Let me just tell you how cool it is to be in a Disney park when no one else is there. If you can get over the feeling that you’re in an “end of the world and I’m the only one here” feeling.

The glamorous life on tour:  Cleveland in January. 9 degrees. Ice, lots of ice. With the exception of the couple that lived in the building across from my hotel that left their blinds open 24/7 for the entire world to see “nature”…it was a really lonely weekend away from my family.

Hilarities at Pickwick and Frolic is one of my absolute favorite clubs in the country. That's the only reason I brave the horrific weather in Cleveland.

When I’m on the road, my cell phone is my life-line back to my family. I’m so thankful for its invention. When Mark and I first dated, there was no such miracle. We lived 2000 miles from each other for the first 2 years of our relationship and had to pay long-distance charges for each and every call. We would average $400. each most months.  Sure, that’s the “safest” our love-life has ever been but I think a 900 number would have been way cheaper.

Calls from my sons have changed along with their ability to talk. Teaching my boys baby sign language made for really challenging phone calls. Mark would hold the phone while Nate would sign, “want Mommy” and “I love you, Mommy” to the receiver. It would have been great if Mark had learned the signs along with the boys.

“What’s he signing, Mark?”

“Uhhh…umm…grab my chin. I think he’s saying, ‘grab my chin’ to you.”

“Really? Well, I’ve never taught him either of those words, so I’m guessing it’s something else.”

“Well, he’s pulling his two hands into himself then he touches his chin with the thumb of his open hand.”

“Yeah, he’s saying, ‘I want Mommy.’ Gee…I wonder why?”

I don’t know why sign language is so hard for Mark. He’s practically fluent in French (and English). During a beautiful symphony once, I gave Mark the short hand sign for “I love you” which is your palm facing out with the thumb, pointer and pinkie fingers up and the middle and ring finger down. He smiled at me and nodded. After the concert was over he said, “Hey, why did you give me the Spiderman hand?”  {sigh}

So now Zekey likes to hold the phone. He’s 2 so his conversations consist of him counting the numbers on the phone as he pushes them. When I hear the tone of the button being pushed, I yell, “AAAahhhh!” like he poked me. This makes him laugh uncontrollably and I get to hear his sweet little cackle.

Nate and I can actually have a conversation but it’s still hard to understand him sometimes. Thankfully, Mark is there to interpret.

“Hi, Nate! How are you?”

“I’m good, Mommy. I miss you. I got to eat sand at the park today.”

“WHAT? What did he say, Mark?”

“He said he got to meet Sam at the park today.”

“Oh! That’s nice, Nate. Did you have fun with Sam?”

“Yes, but I got sad because Daddy wouldn’t let me take the tick home with us.”

“Mark! Why are you letting him play with Ticks? Are you crazy?”

“Stick. I wouldn’t let him take the STICK  home because he threw it.”
“Oh. Sorry.”

“Mommy? We have to go now because Daddy bought a hammock for the dragon.”

{laughing hysterically} “Mark! It sounded like Nate said, you bought a hammock for the dragon!”

Mark bought a hammock for the dragon.