June 24, 2012
At dinner, my family was talking about the memorial:
“What did you think about Noah’s Life Celebration, Zeke?”
“Good.”
“What was your favorite part?”
“Seeing all Noah’s Lego guys right in front of my face.”
“What did you think about it, Nate?”
“It was fun AND sad. You know what would have made it the best ever, Mommy?”
“No, what?”
“If someone else had passed away and Noah was there playing with me.”
“I couldn’t agree with you more, Nate.”
June 22, 2012
Shopping with your kids. We’ve all been there. It’s a necessary evil sometimes. Having said that, there are ways to make the event go smoothly for you and for EVERYONE AROUND YOU…
1. Bring snacks. If you forgot snacks, tear open a bag of something from off the shelf and start stuffing it into your screaming kid’s mouth. In fact, allow me. It takes a village and I will be more than happy to help with your screaming banshee.
2. Bring toys. Doesn’t have to be fancy. Just bring SOMETHING!
3. Give them your freaking smart phone! What? You have kids and you don’t have a smart phone? What’s the opposite of smart? I guess you wouldn’t know.
4. If your kid is running amuck, knocking over displays, stomping on MY FEET, biting and screaming, “NOOOOO!” Have consequences for their actions:
Did you really expect your kid to stand by you in the dress dept. for an hour and offer their advise on what’s flattering for your figure? Come on! I can’t even get my husband to do that and he’s relatively trained.
5. Stop screaming at your kid to “Stop screaming and get over here!!” You’re WAY more annoying than they are.
And lastly:
6. If you count to your kid one more time…I will punch you before you get to #3.
June 11, 2012
Mark & I took the boys to see “Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted” so I could review it. I reviewed MOST of it:
Let me know if you agree or not.
June 9, 2012
All I wanted to do was wash my face. Simple little modern convenience we all take for granted. Turn on the water, close your eyes and wash.
Not me…not any more.
I opened my eyes to this:
I’m thinking the sting on my eyeball would have felt better than the whip-lash I got flinging my head back in horror, which made me lose my balance, trip over the puppy and land on my butt on my bathroom scale, which caused me to scream so loud I probably ruptured my vocal chords.
(sigh)
June 6, 2012
My very talented and even nicer friend, John Matta has been drawing hysterical comics on napkins. He’s vowed to draw one a day for an entire year.
I helped him today:
Go see the funny, poignant and very bad penmanship of my napkin.
PS Thanks for asking, Matta. The parts of Philly I miss have you in them.
June 5, 2012
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