They put a gold cap & tassel on Nate and sent him down the aisle to the Graduation song. So? Why was I bawling my eyes out? I search through all my emotions and tried to label this overwhelming wave that came crashing down on me. “Am I happy? Sad? Proud? Scared? Relieved he passed and I don’t have to pay for it again?” All the above.
It’s amazing how these two little boys have been in my life for such a small amount of time and yet have completely taken over my entire being. One glance from their eyes, one word from their mouths can send me into a full spectrum of emotions. I feel like Sybil most days.
We love our Montessori school. They did an amazing job with the graduating ceremony. It was filled with proud accomplishments, symbolic traditions and cake. Nothing keeps a 2 1/2 year old interested in his brother’s program more than a promise of cake at the end. Except maybe:
It took 2 lollipops to get through the ceremony. That, and I had to hold him on my back, piggy-back style. I had Zeke on my back licking his lolly; one hand holding him on and the other hand alternating taking photos/wiping tears. Every quiet moment in the program was filled with Zekey’s exclaims of, “MMMmmm…dat good! MMmmm, mmmm, mmmm, delish! Dollipop is good!” He did enjoy the graduates’ songs. They opened with the “Continents Song” then wowed the crowd with the “50 states” song. They rounded out their set list with “One Small Voice” which they signed as well as sang…a real crowd-pleaser. When they were finished, Zeke started yelling requests, “ABCs! Sing ABCs!” The ABC song is his “Freebird”.
I cannot believe that I’m sitting here crying again. Looking at these photos has turned me into a blubbering idiot …again. But I think I get it now. These are Mommy tears. When you spend every second of every day and night with these little humans, feeding them, clothing them, wiping every orifice on them…teaching them, scolding them, cleaning up after them because sometimes it’s not worth the battle to make them do it…and just when you feel like it’s all for nothing – like you’re banging your head against a wall and no one’s listening…you blink and your baby’s wearing a graduation cap, standing in front of a crowd of people, giving the “thumbs up” sign because he sees me crying. That sweet moment lasted a nano-second. Then he started emphatically signing for me to take his picture – he was next to get his diploma. (sigh)