I never understood how my Mom always knew when I was lying or when I had done something wrong…

Today, I understand.

Look at this sweet, innocent, he-would-never-tell-a-lie son of mine...oh, wait...does his nose look bigger to you?

Look at this sweet, innocent, he-would-never-tell-a-lie son of mine...oh, wait...does his nose look bigger to you?

Food battles seem to be the problem du-jour among all my friends with kindergarteners.  Nate, who used to eat everything and anything we put on his plate, has suddenly had a change of heart. “Pretend Butter noodles!” he demands for breakfast, lunch and dinner. (We’re vegetarians, so the butter is non-dairy “pretend”, not the noodles.)

“Nate, you can’t have pretend butter noodles for breakfast.”

“Why not, Mommy?”

“I don’t know…you just can’t.  It’s a rule.”

“Who made the rule, Mommy?”

“I did, Nate. Daddy and I make all the rules.”

“Well, if you made it, can’t you change it?”

“Uh..er…um..{sigh}…I guess I can Nate.”

“Where are you going, Mommy?”

“To change your college fund to a campaign fund.”

So, pretend butter noodles it is.  I keep trying different things but I can’t even get him to eat one of his old favorites…Pizza! What kid doesn’t like pizza? We make it at home, so we can put whatever we want on it and top it off with soy cheese. He used to eat it like it was dessert.  But now?  I put 1 piece, cut in half, on Nate’s plate and it sits there. Oh, it gets moved around the plate several hundred times but never comes close to his mouth.  “Nate, eat your pizza.” “My tummy is telling me not to send anything else down there…it’s full.” “OK, but if you don’t eat your pizza, you can’t have dessert. It’s your choice.” “My tummy just changed it’s mind, Mommy. He wants the pizza.”  I took Zeke into his room and changed his diaper. I was gone 2 minutes, top. When I walked back into the kitchen, Nate was dropping his plate and cup into the sink. “I’m all done, Mommy! I ate both of my pizzas. I put them into my mouth and ate ’em up!”

And that’s the moment I understood how my Mom always knew when my brother and I were lying.

I walked over to the trash, lifted up the lid and there it was…Nate’s piece of pizza. My sweet little angel had just told me his first lie. I felt a little crack in my heart.

“NATE! Did you just lie to me?”

“Yes.  Yes I did.”

“But that is never acceptable, Nate. We do not lie to each other…ever! Why did you throw your pizza in the trash and then tell me you ate it? ”

“Because I didn’t want to eat the pizza and I wanted dessert, Mommy.”

It’s really hard to argue with that kind of logic.

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