…has been what both my boys have been chanting for over a month. “But you’ve NEVER been fishing!” has been my response over a billion times. I had no idea where this was coming from. I can’t remember anyone fishing in any of their shows, video games or books. When I asked, “Why do you want a fishing pole?” hoping to get to the origin of the idea, all I got was, “Duh, Mommy…so we can fish! Hellloooo!!”
(sigh.)
I knew they would be sorry they “wasted” a Santa wish on a fishing pole, 7 minutes into their first cast. I knew all to well the pain of “The Year Of Regret” so I wanted to shield them from making an uneducated decision. When I was 8, I asked Santa for a microscope. A freaking microscope!!! I saw it in the Sears toy catalogue and had visions of hours and hours of “discovering new species undetectable to the naked eye”. That was a direct quote from the catalogue. 7 minutes of straining my eyes to see a piece of my hair x 50 (which is all the strength $19.99 could buy you in the 1970’s) I was crying my eyes out, “Tell Santa to take it back! I don’t want a microscope! I want a Chrissy doll! Tell Santa I’ll trade the microscope for Chrissy!” No such luck. I was stuck. Stuck with the worst gift ever and had no one to blame but myself.
Trying to steer my boys away from making the same mistake I made, I devised the, “Mommy saves christmas” plan. Mark & I would take the boys fishing with rented poles so they could get it out of their systems. Let them see that fishing takes LOTS of patience they don’t have yet and let’s be honest…boring as all get out. 30 minutes of staring at a bobber in the water should do the trick! I needed to rent some poles. Luckily, there are two such places at Disney. I chose Fort Wilderness Campground. It would cost $12 bucks and some worms to save christmas. Worth every penny.
First glitch in my plan: We went to see Santa BEFORE we were able to go fishing! Standing in line to meet Santa, I asked Zeke:
“Hey, what are you going to ask Santa for?”
“A FISHING POLE!! I TOLD YOU A BILLION TIMES, MOMMY!”
DOH! I had to think fast:
“Hey, Guys, why don’t you let Mommy & Daddy buy you a fishing pole for christmas and you can ask Santa for something REALLY cool!”
“But a fishing pole IS really cool, Mommy.”
“I know, Nate…but Santa’s Elves aren’t really known for their fishing pole making skills…they’re much better at making other stuff. Isn’t there anything else you wanted?”
“I want a skateboard…”
YES! “The Elves are REALLY good at making skateboards…I’m pretty sure Tony Hawk uses a Santa’s Elf board.”
“REALLY? I thought he used a Tony Hawk board.”
“He does…a Tony Hawk board that was made in Santa’s workshop!”
“Zeke, What are YOU going to ask Santa for?”
“A FISHING POLE!! I TOLD YOU A BILLION AND ONE TIMES, MOMMY!!!”
“Right, sorry. Listen, Zeke…if Mommy & Daddy get you a fishing pole and Santa gets you a fishing pole, you will have 2 many fishing poles. Why don’t you ask Santa for something else?”
(Grrrrowwlll) “OK, Ok, ok…”
Then they proceed to sit on Santa’s lap.
“Ho, ho, ho…What would you like, Nate?”
“I hear you make good skateboards, so I’ll take one of those, please.”
“OK, what about you Zeke?”
“Well, since Mommy told me I can’t ask you for a fishing pole, I guess you can bring me a Lego set. The one with Batman, Robin, Poison Ivy and they’re in a fun house with a slide.”
Wew! Not counting Santa’s confused look, that went surprisingly well. On to the next step: Ft. Wilderness.
2nd cast in the water, Nate pulls out a fish.
2 minutes later, Zeke pulls up a fish. (NOTE: Weird perspective photo. Fish was NOT as big as Zeke’s torso.)
Mark pulls out a fish seconds later.
My fish? It was the one that got away. I lifted it out of the water and it did a swan dive off the hook. Swear.
Time elapsed: 6 1/2 mins.
“Zeke, here’s your rod. It’s all ready to go again. Get up off the floor, please.”
“No thank you, Mommy.”
“What do you mean, ‘No thank you’? Don’t you want to fish anymore?”
“No, I already caught a fish.”
“Yes, you did…a big one! Don’t you want to catch another one?”
“Nope. I already did. I’m all done.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yup, I’m sure.”
“OK. Do you still want a fishing pole for christmas?”
“No thank you. I already caught a fish.”
“YES!!”
7 mins. in and Mission “Mommy saves christmas” is complete.
…or is it? Stay tuned…
Stinky Flowers 